Something about we.

Is night, but i still cant fall asleep, I still thinking about we.

Yup, ME and HIM

So, this post is special for HIM, somebody that have a important position in my heart.

It's strange, no matter feeling, atmosphere , mood or others.

Something had change between us, I means somethings between us have became different from the pass .

I know many couple will go though it before or maybe later.

I feel helpless, I feel sad, I feel unhappy, I feel dissatisfied

No dissatisfied about HIM, I'm dissatisfied on myself 

I am discrepant to being a girlfriend

People around start to criticize me 

start to describing me as a bad girlfriend

NON-soft, NON-thoughtful, NON-intimate, NON-understanding, crude and violence.

alright, I admit I am not a perfect girlfriend, not even a good girlfriend.

Before, what will I do is just ignore all these comment , because I knew whatever people think about me, it isn't important , because I know he will always be there for me, Love me and care me and tell me that I am not , I am cute and beautiful and blablablabla.

But now, everything start changing, he change , so do I.

He no like the old time, be there to praise me and to comfort me.

I feel like He start to agree others, He start to tell me that I am not good in that and there.

I FEEL SAD, but I cant do anything, I even cant tell him, no , is I even NOT DARE to tell him.

I LOVE HIM.

I try to follow what he want me to do 

I try to accept his friend, treat them as my friend

I try to hold on my temper just want to feel happy

I think it's dont work

sometime, he will choose his friend besides me, yah, I am sad

travel with his friend

have lunch with his friend

play with his friend

party with his friend

count down with his friend

I know friend is very important in everyone's life, so do him and me .

I know he very treasure his friendship although he always say I am the most important person in his life

BUT I STILL SAD

moreover, I also feel sad about another things

I think he still cant accept my friend like what I do.

He don't like to go out with my friend.

I don't want to force him, because I want him to be happy.

Even I am not happy.

Sometime, I will just think why cant he accompany me besides of his brother.

I figure out thousand of reasons for him.

But I still cant convince myself

Yes, I am childish, and I am NON-understanding

and I am stupid!

I not dare to tell him I am sad

I not dare to cry in front of him

and I not dare to scold him and even ask him face-to-face

what I dare to do is just act like I FEEL GOOD to make he happy.

silly? I know right.

I know my request is unreasonable

but what can I do?

what I want is HE, I want he to accompany me to pass though my life. 

That ALL.

I appreciate for all he done for me, and I apologize for all my unreasonable requests to him.

Sometimes, I really don't know what he thinking about.

I just hope he will tell me

but women always changeable.

It is because sometimes when I really know about the answer he going to give me is not the answer I hope to get

and I will trying to act like I DON'T KNOW about it

and hold the little hope that he will change his mind

Alright, the conclusion is I am a idiot so much that a lunatic

But, If being a silly person can make him happy and change his mind

I willing to do so.

I finally know what the people always talking about

"THE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP"

really very confuse, even don't know whether want to accept his call or call him. I don't know how to face him.

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH